The Death of Me
by Portrait
Summary: The memory Snape uses for his Patronus.


**The Death of Me  
[implied R/S]  
Rating: T  
Inspired by the songs FMLYHM and Remedy, both by Seether.**

* * *

Lily smiled a small smile when she saw Severus walk up to her. His hands were firmly in the pockets of his robes, his bag slung over his left shoulder, and his head was kept low, and he walked with quick, almost worried steps. His dark hair went just past his shoulders, and his skin was pale and smooth, something that had become a new topic of mocking for James and Friends. ("How does hair that greasy not produce a face covered with acne?") The insults were not very clever, but James seemed to be getting desperate, as all the other things he had been using were rather old.

The sky was covered with dark silver clouds, and a strong breeze blew across the grass. The lake rippled and thunder rumbled. Lily looked at the sky, desperately hoping that this was not Mother Nature's attempt at foreshadowing. If it was, she told herself, she would have a few words with her after her death, about how very cliché it was.

"Hey," she said when he stopped, about two feet from her. "Why so shy?" Lily gestured for him to move closer. "We are friends, not enemies."

After Snape had shuffled forward, he told her, "If we were enemies I would have been standing much further away."

Lily laughed and thunder broke again. She winced and stepped closer to Snape, until they were almost touching. "I know I am supposed to be a Gryffindor, but the thunder scares the – "

Lightning light up the area directly behind Snape's head and Lily shrieked and jumped away. "We are going inside now!"

Daringly, she grabbed Snape's hand and turned to walk quickly inside.

When the doors were shut behind them, Snape said mockingly, "You afraid of thunder and lightning, but you are able to confront Rodolphus and Rabastan Lestrange?"

He was, of course, referring to an incident that had happened earlier in the week. All who went to Hogwarts knew of the Lestrange family. They were all born in France and spoke French first, but they lived in England and went to Hogwarts. The family was heavily incestuous; the two who were in school were the first in three generations to have a parent that was not related to them. The two (Rodolphus a seventh year, Rabastan a sixth year, compared to Lily's lowly third year status) had been snogging in the DADA corridor and Lily had walked right up to them and informed them of the school rules. No public displays of affection. "Or incest. Or whatever it is that you two have," she had said.

Snape was friends with them, and still had to put up with their moaning, four days later.

"Rodolphus is too silly looking and Professor FollyLock was right by the door. Why she did not stop them, I do not know." Lily answered, ignoring his jibe at her fears. The storm continued to rage outside but it was safe inside (where Lily could not see the lightning) so she was able to be calm.

Snape snorted. "Rodolphus is _not _silly looking."

"Androgynous, then," Lily said dismissively. "I've nothing against it, you know, but with him…" she petered off pathetically. After a few moments, she caught his smirk and asked: "What?"

"You ignored my question about thunderstorms." Snape took his hands from his robes and flexed his fingers. "Have you selective hearing, Lily?"

Lily pursed her lips and flipped her hair behind her shoulder. "No, Severus, I do not have selective hearing." She stared sternly at him, green eyes glinting. "You do, however."

"Me?" Snape asked, disbelieving. "How do I have selective hearing?"

Lily laughed loudly for a moment, then placed her hands on her hips and looked at Severus sternly. "Today in Transfiguration. The teacher had chastened Black, so you were ecstatic – no, don't interrupt me, I saw your face – and you were so happy that you did not hear Professor McGonagall chasten _you_."

"That was not selective hearing," Snape argued. "That was being _so _happy, _so _carefree, that I did not register it."

Lily laughed again. "You have a way with words."

Severus brightened.

"And it's not a good one." Lily finished a taunting smirk on her face. "Really though, Severus, I know Potter and Friends are toe rags, but you needn't be so happy at their misery. It's creepy."

Severus made a low, irritated noise and frowned deeply. "What is it?" Lily asked, turning around.

Potter and Friends were descending the staircase. Lupin was talking animatedly to Black, who was smiling and nodding. Pettigrew was playing with his fingers, and Potter had a smug look on his face.

"I think he sees you," Lily told Snape.

Snape shrugged. "I don't care. The idiots know to not attack me when I am with someone. Potter likes you, Lily, so he surely would not try anything."

Lily looked at Severus, then scooted next to him and took his hand. "What does it say about me?" Lily asked, very quietly, trying not to move her lips. Severus barely heard her, focusing only on her hand in his. "That Potter has a crush on me. It makes me feel dirty."

Snape looked at Potter and laughed.

With this motion, Potter waved to his friends (who had been going a way only went by Hufflepuffs) and they all walked over to Lily and Severus.

"Evans," Potter drawled loudly. "Why are you _touching _Snivellus?"

"Black," Lily responded, childishly, only to make Potter angry, "Why are you touching Lupin?"

Remus went pink and tried to take his hand away, but Sirius glared. "What's it to you?"

"Sirius," Remus said quietly. "Don't."

With those words, Sirius' face became much more furious, but shortly after that he deflated and stopped talking.

"Potter," Snape said then. "Just move along."

"You know what I think Snivellus?" Potter asked rhetorically. "I think that you are the ugly friend of the pretty girl. Did you know, Evans, that Snape is in lov – "

James could only stare stupidly at what Lily did.

She had pushed Severus against the heavy doors leading to the storm. She had rapped one hand in his hair and placed the other on the back of his neck. One of his hands was in her hair, the other on her back.

"No, no – " Potter said in a strangled voice. "This can't be happening."

Just to be sure, he moved to the side. "Oh Gods," he muttered. "What did you do to her Snivellus?" He finally yelled.

They were snogging, his brain repeated. Snogging.

"That _git_," Sirius sneered. "Doesn't he have any respect for anyone?"

Lily pulled away from Severus, just barely, and grazed her nose down the side of his face. She whispered something that made Snape smile, and she then when back to kissing him.

Crestfallen and livid, Potter turned around and said, "Let's just go to the kitchens. We'll plan Snivellys demise when we get back to the tower."

When they were gone, Lily pulled away from Severus and backed away a bit.

"Did you see him?" Lily asked. She shook her head, blushing. "Of course you didn't. It was brilliant, though, wasn't it?"

Snape could only nod, dazed and happy. They were not talking about the same thing.

"I hope he leaves me alone now," Lily continued. She then noticed Snape's face. "Severus, you okay?" His eyes were staring off somewhere, and a small smile was on his face. The happy expression made no sense to Lily. "The kiss was just to get Potter to bugger off, it wa – "

Snape interrupted her. "I know, I know."

She smiled, relieved. "Okay. Good."

After a moment where she tried to think of what they were doing, she remembered. "The library?"

"Yes."

Lily grinned at him.


End file.
